Tag: teasing

If you have been bullied it can be very confusing. When people are unkind to us, it can feel really horrible inside. And sometimes because we feel so bad, we might think that there is something very wrong with us that makes people treat us that way. When lots of people say the same bad things about us or do bad things to us we might believe that those bad things about us are true.

When I was little I believed that the bad things people said about me were true. Being treated so badly made me feel horrible inside and so I thought I was horrible and somehow it was my fault, that I wasn’t good enough, that there was something wrong with me. Those feelings can be so strong and last a long time that we find it hard to believe that we are ok, we are special, and it’s not our fault.

Maybe you feel that way too sometimes? Or maybe you feel that way a lot of the time. But the thing is, being bullied for who you are is not your fault, it is not ok, and there will never be any ‘reason’ why someone should treat you in a way to make you feel bad.

You might be wondering why there is a picture of a giraffe here. 🙂 Well, I think that giraffes are beautiful animals. If you have ever been to a safari park, a wildlife sanctuary, a zoo or somewhere on holiday, you might have seen lots of different animals, birds, insects and creatures. Maybe you have pets or know someone who has a pet. Imagine with me for a moment that you have been asked to ‘pet sit’ for a friend one day. Imagine that this friend has different animals. One is, let’s say a panda bear, one is a kitten, one is a puppy dog, and one is a giraffe. Your job is to look after, feed and be kind to all of these animals. Maybe you have a favourite animal, and that’s ok. But maybe your friend has a different favourite animal to you. Does that mean that one is better than the other? No. Does it mean that one of the animals isn’t as important as the other? Of course not. Because the giraffe is very tall and has big ears and a long neck, does that mean it would be ok to be mean to it, to call it names, to beat it with a stick or not to feed it? No, because that would be cruel. Because the panda bear is bigger and stronger than the kitten and the puppy does that mean it is ok to ignore the kitten and puppy and leave them out of any games? No, that’s not ok. If someone came and shouted at the puppy for being different to the other animals, or because it was the smallest, or it was scared and shy or had brown fur, or played by itself or was good at catching, would that mean that it would be ok for someone to pull the puppy’s tail, or throw things at it, or shout at it to make it scared or chase it down the street? No, if someone did those things to the puppy it would not be the puppy’s fault. It would be because the person doing those things was behaving cruelly and unkindly. The puppy didn’t deserve to be treated badly. And neither do you.

It can be very difficult to accept that it’s not our fault. But nobody deserves to be made to feel bad about being themselves. If you wonder if it is your fault, think about the story about these animals. Don’t they all deserve to be looked after? Aren’t they all special, unique and wonderful in their own ways? Yes, they are all very different to each other – but does that mean that one isn’t as important as another? No, they are all important – and their differences are what make them unique and special, one of a kind, just like you and just like me. So if someone treats you badly because of who you are, remember that no matter how horrible it feels inside, you are being treated badly because that person is being unkind, disrespectful, rude or mean, and not because you deserve it. We are all different, and we all deserve kindness, and we should all try to be kind to each other as much as we can. You are special. The giraffe and all his friends think so too 🙂